Complaint #13 - Crick in the Neck

How is it possible to wake up, stretch and BAM!, crick in the neck?  Seriously?  I slept just fine, did nothing weird and I am subjected to not being able to turn my head to the left for three days?  This cannot be real.

Complaint #12 - Decisions

Decisions are the worst.  From the stupid little ones to the huge life-changing ones, every one is a pain in the ass.  Each cuts off an entire realm of possibilities.  Not going to the bathroom before you leave work means holding it uncomfortably on the way home.  But taking two minutes to handle it before leaving work may mean the difference between arriving home at 5:40 or 6:00.  Imagine the repercussions of the BIG decisions!

Complaint #11 - That Guy

You know the guy.  That guy.  The one whose every utterance annoys the hell out of you. 

For some reason, you are forced to be around him because he is family or a co-worker or a classmate.  You try to just tune him out and keep your distance.  But he has an ignorant response for everything said in his general vicinity.  Then you feel like if you don't disagree with him, he'll mistake it for agreement and be encouraged.  And even when he says something that makes sense, you now hate him so much that you want to strangle him with his own entrails even when you are in agreement.  I know that guy.

Complaint #10 - Offensive Descriptors

It's easy as hell to offend people.  Did you know that midgets don't want to be called midgets?  It's true.  I understand that, but I'm not sure what to call them.  "Little people" seems just as offensive to me, like they are somehow less of a person?  Dwarf is correct, but I read a lot of fantasy fiction, so it seems odd.  I'm thinking, "Where's your axe, Gimli?"

What if I have to describe a criminal midget to authorities?  He was, uh...really short.  The way to go is to just not describe people much at all or be more exact.  The perp was about 3'10", 4'3" counting the purple mohawk.

Yeah, I know each of us is on more of a sliding scale with any descriptor.  Skin color, weight, buoyancy...whatever.  But it's just more convenient to use short-cut terms sometimes.

Everyone's favorite person with dwarfism.

Complaint #9 - Time Changes

Not the musical kind.  Time changes in music are jammin'. 

Whether it's spring forward, fall back or travel sideways through a wormhole, Daylight Savings Time changes are always disturbing.  There's a higher incidence of car wrecks on the days following a time change.  There's also a higher incidence of me forgetting to change my clocks.

Complaint #8 - It is what it is.

It is what it is?

Well, of course it is!   ARGH!  This statement is not worthy of being heard aloud.  This is said when you have nothing further to say about a subject, but love to hear yourself talk and cannot just shut your damn mouth.

I don't know what this is.

Complaint #7 - Awkward Moments

That awkward moment when...

When you realize you hate that people say "That awkward moment when..."  I have no idea what I am supposed to think.  This meme does not amuse me.  It's like saying, "I couldn't come up with a whole thought, so hey, here's half of one."  Unacceptable.  Awkward moment images can be cleverly captioned without the words awkward and moment.  Even worse are the simple statements.  "That awkward moment when your friend hates your favorite meme."  Just tell the story already.  "My friend hates my favorite meme."  Hey, wow, it's not funny....either way.